What do you do if you're offered a chance to contribute your ideas to the planning of a future town centre?

Jump at it, that's what I did.

It's part of my 'Say Yes, Then Work Out How' new way of living.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email invite from a property developer whose projects and display homes I've been visiting, asking if I'd like to be part of a focus group for their new town centre.

After saying yes, I was asked a number of questions like am I the primary grocery shopper in the family, where do I do my shopping etc.

And it's funny how I was given so many opportunities to be tested, as if God was asking "Are you sure you're up for this?"

First, I was late getting there. My chauffeur (hubby) got home late, so by the time we hit Sayers Road, which is like driving blind at night because of the poor street lighting, we were several minutes past the appointed time and I had visions of being shut out. I even told hubby to wait in the carpark till I'd gone in...just in case they closed the doors on me (they did say latecomers wouldn't be let in).

Hubby was the one who insisted I go in and ask, and I'm glad I listened, cos though I was the last to arrive, the session hadn't started yet.

I sat down and started nervously eyeing all the other participants - 6 ladies and a gentleman - and feeling like I was sliding back into my default introvert/passive observer persona. You know that feeling when you're the newcomer to a group situation and everyone else already seems to know one another and you feel you have to work extra hard to get in?

So I decided to step up. I roused myself to say hello and practise my rapport building skills with the person next to me. Then the facilitator moved me to the other end of the table, so I practised with the person next to me.

Then the session began (with a cameraman in the background videoing everything). I was the first to introduce myself according to the scripted instructions, and boy was I hot! I could feel the flush of being in the spotlight creep up my neck till my whole face was burning. Wondered what the rest thought as I sat there red-faced.

And this was only the start.

As the session got on it became clear who the room leaders were and how some people are really good at getting consensus from the group and making others feel included in their comments. Lots to learn.

All in, it was a great learning experience and I'm grateful to be given a chance to say what I'd like to see in the new town centre. It'll be fun to see how much of what we said is taken on board in 2-3 years when the project is completed.

Client Testimonial

My client sent me this exuberant email yesterday which began with "The week is going fantastic" and abounds with action words: "I have been...There is...I am updating...I have sent...I am going through...and I keep getting more clear on what I want."

Such a huge transformation considering how flat and listless he was when we started out.

The email ends with "Really appreciate your sincere efforts in improving my life, and giving your best. I am thankful to be coached by you."

How good is that!!

The Magic of Mortification

Had the most mortifying experience yesterday.

I was the listener on a 4-way call with my coaching classmates and the mentor coach, when the thing that I greatly feared came upon me.

My 4 yo, who can normally be trusted to be absolutely quiet with TV/video while Mummy is in her "special" room on the phone, decided she didn't like Postman Pat and wanted me to change channels.

Interestingly, this was also the moment I couldn't find the Mute button on my mobile, the all-critical function that lets me listen while suppressing all background noise. Where is something when you need it?

So the other three people were able to hear everything I was trying so hard to contain: my desperate run through the kitchen to the lounge to control the damage, Miss J's tears and tantrums which instead of subsiding actually escalated in volume, the static as the mobile was carried through different parts of the house...

The mentor coach made it known in quite uncertain terms that she was unable to take notes with all that background noise, and what if it affected an important NLP moment?

I felt like a complete failure. After all, the other coaches are mums too, and they'd been sensible enough to put their kids in daycare. What a nightmare.

It took the better part of the day for me to calm down, let go of my feelings of humiliation and the awful feeling that I had failed my fellows and lost my reputation, and take some constructive action to prevent this from ever happening again.

First thing I did was find out which daycare centre in my area has a vacancy for Miss J.

It's time to admit that keeping her home with me on non-kinder days to save $ is costing me in other ways: I haven't enough time to study and work on the business, and even less flexibility to adjust my schedule for occasions like this.

When I told hubby Woodville Park CC has an 18-month waiting list, he joked that I should look at starting up a childcare centre myself since there's obviously a demand.

I finally found a centre that matches families with home-based carers and charges between $5 and $8 an hour. Now waiting for them to call me with a suitable contact.

If not I'll ask my neighbour down the road if she'll mind Miss J for me next Thu for 2 hours.

The second thing I did was to order an iPhone so I'm ready to do 4-way calls when my turn comes. It's due to arrive today and I shall have great fun figuring it out...once I've found someone to help me install the micro-SIM card properly.

I also sent an email to apologize to my fellow coaches for the inconvenience to them.

The one who acted as coach sent me a very nice reply, which I treasure all the more because she had every right to be cross.

Lesson learned: never underestimate the randoms in life!

Gratitude Summary

Highlight of last week is definitely securing my first paid client and running the first paid coaching session.

Was it any different from my pro bono coaching sessions?

You bet.

I was so nervous and in such dread about the impact of the $ on my perceived coaching value that I decided to get external help.

So I emailed the Diploma Mentor Coach at TCI who works with Dip students like me, and she rang me last Friday for a chat.

Upshot: she talked me through my anxiety, I was reassured to know that a coach with 800+ hours of experience still gets the butterflies, and I learned some strategies for dealing with new clients.

The session went BEAUTIFULLY. There were several moments when I was no longer conscious of me, just of this amazing, empowering energy flowing right through me and eliciting the right words and questions out of my mouth. What an inspiring start to my coaching career!

Better yet was being able to share this precious experience with close fellow coaches who are on the same journey and can relate to what I'm going through.

Yesterday, I had a coach email to ask me how I got my first paid client.

Which goes to show: you never know which aspect of your journey is most helpful to someone else. Just live your life, do what you can within your control and influence, and leave the outcome to God.

This week's highlights?

Well, I actually had a mysterious phone call today from the Star (our local newspaper which goes out free to all households) asking to meet up regarding a wrap-around they are doing which may have advertising opportunities for me. Have no idea what it's about and how to make the most of this but I said yes (as per coaching mantra: Say Yes, Then Work Out How) and arranged to meet caller at Werribee Baptist Church tomorrow since I'll be working anyway.

Then yesterday, as I was reading with Miss B's class, her teacher popped her head in to say she's given my contact and URL to a colleague who is looking for ways to motivate her older students. Possible workshop opps there? Who knows. Better get busy and start writing up some workshop material.

After Chinese class on Sat, we decided to check out the playground at Central Park along Boardwalk Boulevard, Pt Cook.

And discovered a street of beautiful houses facing the wetlands and looking across to the town centre. And every one of them with that feel of privacy and seclusion, even though they're so close to the main artery of Pt Cook.

As the kids were enjoying themselves, we saw a familiar figure coming up to us: Beth's 陈老师, whom we largely credit for getting her over her I-hate-Chinese hump to being able to recite 李白's 静夜思. You know, the one we all learned at school...

床前明月光
疑是地上霜
举头望明月
低头思故乡

She invited us to visit her home, pointing at a double-storey house down the street.

So I allowed my curiosity to overtake my paiseh-ness, and brought the girls with me to ring her doorbell after their play.

And I'm glad I did, even with my less-than-proficient spoken Mandarin, cause I've made a precious connection, stretched my comfort zone and created for my children a reference point for trying something new.

Candidate for executive/business coaching in how NOT to treat your customer: our local Toyota dealership.

Bought a 2008 Camry Altise off them two weeks ago under hubby's name (salary packaging).

First, they didn't give us the Cooling-Off document at the time of signing the purchase agreement.

Then when they delivered the car, it was without the VicRoads rego sticker, which meant hubby had to take public transport for 3 days while the car sat at home.

No dramas if this was SG, but we're talking about the outer suburbs of Melbourne where the bus comes once every 40 minutes, the bus and train schedules aren't in sync, and trains get cancelled suddenly or decide to stop two stations before your stop and you have to get off and take a bus...

Hubby was fuming.

What finally made him blow his top was when the salesman we dealt with said he'd just come back from a holiday (how's that relevant??), promised to get us the sticker by x hours (but never kept any of his offered deadlines), and had the cheek to suggest that hubby could pick up the sticker himself (said he was only joking to lighten the situation!).

At which point hubby YELLED at him over the phone.

I had the honour of calling the salesman in the afternoon, and kept calling till I'd nailed him down to agreeing to hand-deliver the sticker.

He finally did so last night, with many apologies. I told him it was nothing personal, but the customer service at his company was appalling. He tried to blame his colleagues for not covering for him thoroughly in his absence, claimed he'd conveyed our complaint to his GM and said he had told his GM that he wasn't happy because his clients weren't happy!

I told him I was holding him to account because he said he's a Christian.

I am considering making an appointment to see the CEO to present a proposal for sales and customer service coaching...

Made a fascinating connection this morning...with my postie!

The minute he opened his mouth to ask me to sign for my letter, I recognized the Malay accent.

I asked how he's coping with Ramadan and being a postie in winter, we discovered we're fellow Singaporeans, and I learned that he arrived in April.

He commented that it's difficult to get a job when you're a new migrant, so he's just taking whatever he can find. That's a story our family can definitely resonate with.

I asked if he'd heard of the Migrant Hub. He said no. In case he's pining for nasi lemak and nasi padang, I told him MH is run by a Malaysian-Malay lady and has its own Singaporean satay man. He said he's never heard of it, so I told him where to find the place.

At the end of our conversation, he suggested we stay in touch to keep the Singaporean connection going and asked for my contact details, so I was able to give him my newly printed business card.

This social exchange would never have happened to me when I lived in Singapore.